Walking through the darkness…

This post may make me cry, it may make you cry, but considering I have documented my mental health journey on here, this seems very fitting.

(Btw, I am currently listening to this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WyG7_yjM5bE).

I am not sure as to how to say this, but I just wanted to say that is genuinely possible to recover from depression, from anxiety and from a mental health illness.

(Ok floods of tears…).

I have lost who I am, lost the meaning of life, questioned everything, felt nothing for the life I lead, lost friends, lost family, have had 2 breakdowns, cried countless of times, ruined relationships, destroyed friendships, become a void of negativity, been unable to recognise the face in the mirror looking back at me, and yet after 6 years of going in and out of therapy I am now walking out of the dark, endless tunnel that I thought would last forever.

I have under estimated my depression, ignored it, fought it, become angry over it, blamed others and gone to hell and back. At the start of 2016, that was almost it, I was done, I was at the bottom of who I could be, there was nothing. But through sheer f***ing stubbornness I am here right now, and I writing to say that you can recover, you can get better and that you are not alone. I will still have down days, will still get low, but its okay because it is who I am.

One thing for sure is that I have shown strength that I never, ever thought I had.

So please take it from a currently crying Naturalist, you can recover and life is worth living. The steps are hard, they are dark, they may go backwards but in the end you will move through the darkness. With mental health a backwards step is in fact a forward one.

To everyone who has stood by me and been there, thank you. Words are not really enough to be honest. Thank you from the very bottom of my heart.

 

Now…lets go fight for the planet…

SLQ

 

3 Responses to “Walking through the darkness…”

  1. Respect & love to you mate x

  2. You are very brave to openly discuss this and thetefore proof that it can be beat.

    I pray that others are helped by your honest words and see a light of hope in the darkness.

    Thank you.

  3. Thanks for sharing, Stephen. It can be so hard to reveal these dark inner thoughts but it can also be rewarding and relieving. I felt a sense of relief when I read this because I could relate; it’s somewhat nice to know that I’m not alone in having suffered with these horrific thoughts and feelings, and I hope that you’ll now feel that same sense of relief after hearing from another victim of depression and anxiety.

    I’m glad that you’ve sought the help you deserve and hope that things brighten up for you on the journey ahead. Best wishes

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